The Beginning – by Agam Darshi

We are very pleased to announce that celebrated actress Agam Darshi will be writing for our Get Inspired section . Agam is well known for her roles in Sanctuary, Dan for Mayor and 2012. She is also the co-founder of Vancouver International South Asian Film Festival.

My name is Agam Darshi. I am an actor.

As a little brown kid with a funny name, growing up in random cities across Canada I dreamed that one day I would be doing exactly what I am doing today: acting. I loved to entertain. I loved to be creative. I loved to ‘pretend’ and to tell stories.

But my desire to be an actor also came from a place inside me where I never quite fit in, and I would imagine that if I could just be something special maybe life would be a little easier. We moved around a lot, my family and I, and that flair some people have to make new friends and adapt to new environments with such ease and grace, was never something I had. I would hide in my imagination and dream of places I wanted to go, things I wanted to do, and people I wanted to be.

Despite my desire to be an actor as a child, growing up I came to the conclusion that acting was perhaps not the most logical choice in life. The famous mantra so many broken people love to repeat had stuck in my head: “How many starving actors are there in the world”? So I did the most practical thing I could do: Go to art school. I majored in visual arts and decided I would become a photographer. But that inner actor did not die. So I minored in theatre too, just for shits and giggles…and maybe to keep my soul alive.

I graduated university, moved to Vancouver and got a job at a sad little web company designing logos and building websites. But in the meantime I was encouraged by a former teacher to search for a talent agent – because I “might do well in TV and film.” So I did.

My path was an easy one at the beginning. I found a good agent, booked my first audition and worked on a recurring role for a TV show. 4 months later I was flown to LA for a screen test. I was innocent to the business. I didn’t realize this was supposed suck. No, my blood, sweat and tears didn’t come until a few years later. It wasn’t until I had fully given myself over to the Acting Gods that they decided I needed to pay my dues. And I did, in my own way. I have had my share of disappointments, ‘almost’ roles, and bad auditions.

And I still do. The learning curve never ceases to amaze me. Just when I think I got a handle on it all, life punches me in the face and gives a dose of ‘growth’. I blame myself however. I yearn for change as much as I am terrified of it.

The biggest thing I’ve learnt in this artist-life is that it will never make me special. And that is not the reason to do it. There are too many actors to become special in this business. But if I am lucky, I might have the opportunity to take all my little tragedies and all my little joys and put them into projects that will inspire others. Having a reason larger than my own ego for doing what I do has been one of the best discoveries I’ve ever made. I know I am blessed to have this life, and what better way to be grateful than to inspire others to pursue their dreams as well?